I moved home about two months ago. Since then I have had a range of interesting and, to be frank, depressing emotions. I’ve been the lowest I’ve been in a long time. Possibly of my entire life. Even at times of great stress, frustration and lack of sleep while doing my degree, I remember feeling happy and content. I knew who I was and enjoyed my life. Now, having moved back in with my parents and trying to balance finances, work and illustration - I have no idea how I am or what is going on with my life.
There have only been three positives to moving back home. Financially, I’m golden. I have no rent to pay, no food to buy and I wouldn’t have to spend my money on anything other than getting to work if I didn’t want to. Another is I’m most probably the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. I exercise regularly and rarely eat sweets and junk. Thirdly, and it’s not even that great but worth noting, my hair has started to grow back. Through stress, I lost a lot of hair and it became thin - now I have a fab head full of hair.
But despite these minor conveniences of life, I loath all things about my day to day. And why is this? It’s simple really. A lack of independence.
The truth of the matter is that I have none. None at all. Living with my parents has sucked away any independence I once had. They want to know what I’m doing, where I’m going, what I’m having for dinner, when I’m doing my laundry ect ect.
At university, I had the freedom to go on midnight walks, eat dinner watching a show I wanted to watch, socialise, have space, breathe. Now I’m confined to my bedroom because it’s the only space I can call my own. I’m naturally a very independent introverted person who likes the company of a select few, sometimes no company at all, and so the constant company of my family is now somewhat overwhelming.
Furthermore, I have no time (or energy to be perfectly honest) to do illustration work in my spare time. I get every other weekend off which I feel is enough time to experiment creatively but other than that, I don’t feel motivated.
Does anyone else feel these struggles? Do all illustration grads go through this? I need help and ways to better my situation. Thanks for listening.
I finished my comic for @plymuni last week and it was actually not that stressful. Do you graduates remember those first year coffee breaks with people you didn’t really know? I sure do.